What's My Underwear
Blair covered his mouth in a brave attempt to hide his shit-eating grin, his blue eyes dancing with merriment as he took his seat beside his lover. The anthropologist’s grin grew wider as he overheard Jim’s muttered greeting.
“Oh so true, Sweetcheeks.” A giggle bubbled out of the younger man. “And speaking of cheeks… how are yours this glorious morning?” Blair scooted out of reach.
Jim turned quickly in his chair, intent on destroying his smirking lover with his deadly laser eyes. The sight of Blair’s happy smile put a halt to all sarcastic thoughts and the detective found himself smiling back at his partner. Picking up a file on his desk, he asked, “Why do I put up with you?”
Blair tossed his curls and batted his eyelashes at the detective. “I am totally irresistible. Not to mention cute and sexy.”
“Cute and sexy? I’m thinking… mischievous and wicked.”
Blair threw his hands up in the air in a mock display of innocence. “Hey! It wasn’t me who decided last night to test the theory on the sex appeal of holey underwear.” Eyebrows were waggled. “Did you really think you could sashay that fine ass of yours in front of me and not have it nailed to the wall?” The anthropologist grinned and licked his lips. “Or should I say… nailed to the couch, the floor and then to the wall.”
Jim snorted and flipped open the file he had chosen to work on.
“Lovebuns.” Blair slid his hand around Jim’s waist and rubbed it over his ass. “I couldn’t help it. That hole in your underwear was in the perfect spot. And my dick saluted the moment he saw it.”
Jim growled. “Your dick salutes anything nowadays.”
Blair tapped his lips with a finger. “And the problem with that is?”
Jim dropped his head in his hands and groaned. “I’m too old for this shit.”
“Don’t worry, babe.” Blair dug around in his backpack. “Naomi sent me this new book and it’s got a most righteous recipe for a vitamin shake. Guaranteed to put the pep in your step and hair on your balls.” The police observer patted Jim’s head, which was currently being pounded on his desk. “Although… maybe I can mix the vitamins around and get the hair to grow on your head instead of your balls. I think you need it more up top than down bottom.”
A warning growl was issued. “Blair.”
The anthropologist continued on. “Have you ever considered a hair transplant, Jim? I’d be more than willing to make a donation. Got tons of hair to spare, Big Guy.”
A lethal stare silenced the younger man. “No bald jokes, Chief. Not unless you want to be on bathroom duty for the rest of your life.”
Blair grinned and stuck out his tongue. “Don’t worry about your hair, babe. Bald men are considered extremely sexy in my book.” He slid his hand along Jim’s thigh. “Extremely sexy.”
The detective rolled his eyes. “That’s not my head you’re rubbing.”
Blair patted his lover’s crotch. “Depends on your point of view.”
Jim removed the mischievous hand from his lap and returned it to its owner. “Behave!” he admonished. “I know that word is not well- known in the Sandburg zone but do try to sit there quietly.” He slapped at the fingers tiptoeing toward him. “Let me finish my work, okay?”
Blair sighed and sat back in his chair. “Somebody’s got a stick up his butt.”
Jim leaned over and whispered in his lover’s ear. “If you behave, I’ll be more than happy to let you put your stick up my butt as soon as we get home. Deal?”
The anthropologist bounced in his chair. “Deal!”
A miraculous half hour of quiet reigned before temptation overwhelmed Blair and he started to wiggle in his seat and mutter to himself.
“Oh yeah. Definitely. No doubt about it.”
A pause of silent consideration. “Well… could be. You never know about those quiet types.”
Seconds later, Blair tilted his head and chuckled. “I’ll cut my hair if I’m wrong about that one.”
Several more minutes of illogical Guide rambling and the Sentinel of the Great City lost control. He prayed for divine direction before turning to his partner. “Blair! What the hell are you chattering about?”
Startled by his lover’s roar, the anthropologist nearly fell out of his chair. “Don’t do that! You scared the shit out of me.”
“Not enough time in the day to accomplish that, Chief,” Jim admitted wryly.
Blair slapped the older man on the arm. “You are soooo funny.”
“I do my best,” the detective declared. “Now… what the hell are you doing?”
Blair looked around the bullpen furtively. “I am utilizing my superior observational skills to determine the undergarment apparel of the local male population.”
Jim tapped his lover on the head. “English, Einstein. Give it to me in plain English.”
Blair scooted his chair closer and whispered, “I’m trying to figure out what kind of underwear the guys are wearing.”
Jim shook his head in disbelief. “Please tell me you’re joking.” A grin was his only answer. “What’s gotten into you, Chief?”
Blair brushed his fingers over his partner’s crotch. “Nothing… yet.”
Jim captured his lover’s hand and pressed it against his wakening cock. “Whatever did I do to deserve this?” he asked the ceiling of the Major Crimes department.
The breath of a wicked voice tickled the detective’s ear. “I don’t know but it must have been something really good.” Blair gently squeezed Jim’s cock. “Only the best get to enjoy this.”
Jim shook his head is helpless defeat. “I think you got a double dose of bullshit when you were put on this earth.”
Blair laughed. “Aren’t you grateful that I did?”
His eyes bright with the love he had for the younger man, Jim returned his grin. “Yeah. Yeah, I am.” He ruffled Blair’s curls as he closed the file on his desk. “How ‘bout we head out for an early lunch, Chief? This can wait ‘til we get back from eating.”
“Sure but first you have to help me with my little project.” Blair indicated the bullpen with a wave of his hand.
“What project?” Jim asked.
The younger man waggled his eyebrows. “Ya know… guess the undies.” Blair hurried on before his lover could protest. “Like H there, for instance. He’s a definite bikini brief type. Likes to impress the girls with his package.”
Ignoring the dumbfounded look on Jim’s face, Blair reached into his knapsack for a mint. Popping one into his mouth, he pointed at the bomb squad captain walking by. “Now Joel… he’s Mr. Old Fashion. I see him wearing boxers. White cotton. The kind your granddaddy would wear.”
Blair tapped his lover on the arm. “How am I doing so far? I should be batting a thousand.”
Jim frowned in confusion. “Why are you asking me? How the hell would I know?”
The anthropologist wiggled his fingers in front of Jim’s face. “Sentinel senses, man. All I need is for you to….”
“Blair Sandburg! I will not be a party to this!” Jim crossed his arms over his chest and glared at his lover.
“Consider it a test of….” Deadly blue eyes silenced Blair… for a second. Brushing his hair away from his face, he looked out over the bullpen. “Now Rafe… the jury’s still out on him. There are so many possibilities with Mr. GQ. I can see him in briefs but not the run of the mill white ones. Rafe would buy designer. Definitely high fashion undies for that one.”
Blair tipped his chair back and contemplated the dark-haired detective. “But Rafe could surprise us. I believe our resident clotheshorse harbors a naughty soul and I wouldn’t put it past him to wear….”
Blair stared open-mouthed at his partner, his chair falling back to the floor with a loud thump. “You peeked!”
Jim brushed aside his lover’s accusing finger. “Did not.”
The detective slapped his hand over Blair’s mouth. “Did not. That was purely an educated guess.” Jim removed his hand. “I don’t care what kinky delights you promise me. I am NOT using my senses to supply your perverted brain with the personal details of our friends’ underwear.”
Before Blair could open his mouth to speak, the door to Simon’s office opened and the police captain stepped into the bullpen to hand a stack of papers to his secretary. A wicked smile spread across Blair’s face.
Jim caught sight of the look on his lover’s face. “Chief,” he warned. “Don’t even go there.”
Blair snickered. “Simon Banks, our illustrious leader. I can say without a….”
Jim yanked his meddling partner out of his seat. With a determined glint in his eyes, he guided Blair out into the hallway. Checking the area for curious onlookers, he pushed the smaller man into an empty housekeeping closet. “Maybe this will distract your evil mind.”
Jim’s wild kiss swallowed Blair’s words, his tongue invading the anthropologist’s mouth, thoroughly exploring and tasting every surface. Blair moaned as his partner’s fingers threaded through his hair, tugging his head into a better position, allowing for a deeper foray of his mouth. Instantly hard, his body caught between a stack of boxes and the wall, he pushed forward and straddled one of Jim’s thighs, riding the muscular extremity with an almost breathless desperation.
Jim answered his lover’s need, his free hand cupping Blair’s bottom, guiding the frantic humping. Untangling his fingers from the younger man’s curls, he forced them between their bodies and located the flesh straining against the zipper of Blair’s jeans.
Ripping his mouth away, he panted, “Maybe… maybe I should do a little research of my own, Chief.” Jim slowly lowered the zipper. “Determine the undergarment apparel of the world famous Blair Sandburg.”
Said famous Blair ignored his smartass mate and whimpered, his lips searching for the wet heat his lips had been savoring. The object of his desire came within reach once more and he lunged for it, thrusting his tongue inside the moment Jim allowed him to. He pulled the man’s shirt out of his pants and pushed the hem of the garment upwards, exposing the broad expanse of the Sentinel’s chest. Blair immediately attacked Jim’s nipples with his fingers, scraping his nails across the sensitive nubs, delighting in the growls that escaped from the older man’s throat.
Jim paused in his investigation and welcomed the torture his partner was inflicting upon his nipples. Lost in the sensations of pain and pleasure, it took a nip to his bottom lip to return his attention to the hard shaft pressing against his leg. The detective quickly slid his hands along the loosened waistband of Blair’s jeans and discovered his answer.
Commando. His partner had forfeited underwear and gone commando.
Jim groaned softly and slid his fingers over the curve of his lover’s ass, along his hips and around to the dense forest of curls sheltering his erection. He released the leaking shaft from its denim confinement and tenderly took it in both of his hands. Freeing his mouth and his nipples from his hungry Guide’s mouth, Jim kicked aside a nearby mop and bucket, clearing a space on the floor at his feet. With one last kiss, he dropped to his knees and took Blair’s cock into his mouth.
Dragging in a gasp of breath, Blair slammed his head against the wall and shoved his hand inside his mouth to muffle his scream. Tears came to his eyes as his balls were gently fondled and his ass lightly probed. The need to give in to the mouth devouring his erection soon overcame him and, with a silent shout, he spilled his seed down Jim’s throat.
Jim coaxed every drop of cum from Blair’s cock before burying his face in the dampness of his lover’s groin. He rubbed his open mouth back and forth, drawing in the unique scent of Blair’s release. Glancing up, the detective smiled at the sated look of completion on his partner’s face.
“I take it you approve of my research methods.” Jim stood and tucked his silent mate back into his jeans.
Blair sighed happily and would have slid bonelessly to the floor if it hadn’t been for Jim’s arms holding him in place. “I say we indulge in this type of research more often.”
Jim looked around the cramped closet. “You’re on, Chief. But next time, I’ll try and find a better location for us to study in.”
Blair giggled and watched as his lover straightened himself to rights. Reaching out, he patted the disappearing bulge between Jim’s legs. “I knew you couldn’t resist my new research topic.” With a grin plastered on his face, he followed Jim out of the closet and back into the bullpen. Settling in his chair, Blair watched the detective turn on his computer and begin filling out a report. His attention was soon distracted by the slam of Simon’s office door, and looking up, he saw the police captain approaching them.
Leaning sideways, Blair whispered in Jim’s ears. “Here’s one final footnote on the subject.” He indicated their boss with a nod of his head. “Our sexy leader there wears multicolored jockey briefs. I’ve seen him in the locker room. And Jim, I must say, Simon is nicely hung and has one fine….”
Simon stared in confusion as his best detective hauled his one and only police observer out of the bullpen. He hesitated a mere second before following after them.