False Advertising





“Come on. What’ve you got to lose?”

“DiNozzo, what part of ‘I’m not interested’ don’t you understand?”

Taking a seat on the bed next to his life partner, Tony dazzled Jethro with a smile that demanded capitulation. “Look at ‘em. Look at their faces. If that doesn’t spell romance, I don’t know what does.”

“You’ve got to be kidding,” Jethro grumbled. He shoved aside the bare knee obstructing the newspaper article he was currently reading. “You’re nuts. There’s nothing romantic about that, whatsoever.”

“I beg to differ.” Tony snuggled up behind his grouchy bedmate and ran his hands from Jethro’s chest down to his groin. “Come on, babe. Humor me.”

With a grunt of total frustration, Jethro tossed aside his unread newspaper. “And just why should I humor you? I’m the one with the problem. What’s in it for me?”

Tony demonstrated the reward a certain someone could expect to receive *if* his request was fulfilled.

“Okay, okay,” Jethro panted exhaustedly an hour later. “You win.”

Licking clean his semen-stained lips, Tony grinned. “You’re so easy, you know that, right?”

Jethro reversed their positions and nailed Tony to the mattress. “I’ll show you easy.”

“Bring it on, Marine. I can take anything you dish out.”

And Tony did, with major enthusiasm.


“Okay, we’re here. Want to explain again what’s so fucking romantic about rubbing your ass raw while gazing at overgrown weeds?”

“Damn it, Jethro, don’t be such a spoilsport. Strip out of your skivvies and give it a chance, okay?”

Tony reached for Jethro’s hand once his man was situated. He held it tight while silently contemplating the breathtaking view of the vineyard below them. After a moment or so, he closed his eyes and rested his head against the solid surface behind him.

Jethro ticked off the seconds and grinned victoriously when Tony jumped up and started pulling on his robe.

“Nope, nothing. You were right. Nothing at all.”

Having refused to strip, Jethro abandoned his spot and followed Tony down the pathway to the resort. “I told you, DiNozzo. There’s absolutely nothing romantic about hanging out in separate bathtubs. That particular scene in the commercial is crap, pure and simple crap.”

Jethro caught Tony by his waist and rubbed his groin against his man’s terry-clothed covered ass. “If you want romantic let’s check out that hiking tour the hotel offers. Getting out in the open, breathing in fresh air, now that’s the ticket."

“Yeah,” Tony whined, “but it’s a ten mile hike. Who’s gonna have the energy to be romantic after traipsing all over the place.”

Jethro shifted his hips side to side several times. “Don’t you worry. You'll have time to recoup your strength. Remember, this medicine guarantees us a thirty-six hour window. There will be romance," he promised, “lots of mattress pounding, sheet drenching romance.”

Tony took off for their room at a run. “Then what are you waiting for? Chop, chop. Take the darn pill already. Time’s a wasting.”

The end

A/N: This snippet was inspired by the ‘Cialis’ commercials currently running on TV. This med is for erectile dysfunction, in case you don’t know, and every commercial ends with the couple viewing an awesome landscape while occupying TWO old-fashion cast-iron bathtubs. It wouldn’t be so bad if the couple was together in ONE bathtub but no, the man is in his tub and the woman is in hers. Why on earth would a man take a dose of Cialis and then climb into a tub all by himself? How exactly does that lead to romance?

Of course, as my sister pointed out, maybe they’re in separate tubs because they’ve just had a round of wild, monkey sex and need to take a breather. Take a breather in a hard as nails, cast-iron bathtub? Personally, I vote for the bed. Not only is it softer but you can easily pounce on your partner the second you uh . . . catch your breath. ;-)




Disclaimer: This work is not intended as an infringement upon the rights of those that own these characters or products and is meant solely for non-profit entertainment purposes only.