Letting Go and Holding On

By Juli

January 2005

"I don't know about this, Locke."

The older man put a hand on Charlie's shoulder. "You have more in common than you think, Charlie."

The blond snorted. "Yeah, like our taste in men."

Locke smiled, gently. "It's more than that. I think you know something about addiction, don't you?"

Charlie's eyebrows went up in surprise. "You mean, he's a junkie too?"

John laughed. "No, not that kind of addiction." His expression became grave. "There are some addictions, Charlie, that aren't as... clean... as heroin."

Charlie looked up at his lover and then, with wide eyes, over towards the dark-haired young man they were discussing. "Worse than heroin?"

Locke simply nodded and Charlie gulped.

"Well, if that's the way it is," he admitted, shoving his hands in his pockets, "Then it's okay. I guess I can share."

"Good man," John said proudly, kissing his partner briefly.

Charlie grinned, feeling a little foolish at how the simple praise made him so happy. Taking Locke's hand, he led the way over to where Boone sat, in the shadows. When he got a good look at their new companion, though, he looked back up at Locke in confusion.

"Um, Locke?"

"Yes, Charlie," the older man responded. As always, he appeared calm and in control.

"Why is Boone wearing only ropes?" Charlie gasped his question. To his surprise, the sight had gone straight to his groin.

Locke wrapped his arms around Charlie's smaller form. Boone didn't seem to notice either of the other men or their intense regard. He knelt quietly, with his head down.

"Because, Charlie, he needs to be tied up right now," Locke explained as he began to nibble on the younger man's ear. "It makes him feel secure."

"Oh," Charlie said, head tilting to offer his lover better access.

"Boone needs to be taught a new set of behaviors where intimacy is concerned," Locke went on to explain. "Want to help me set him free?"

Charlie took another good look at the man in front of him. Boone's normal choice in clothing hadn't ever left much to the imagination, since he tended to wear a sleeveless shirt and skin-tight jeans. Even so, Charlie was speechless at the nude masculine beauty displayed for him. Boone was all lean muscle and sculpted contours, the ropes that bound him and served as his only garments making him only that much more appealing.

As Charlie gazed on the captive form, Boone's eyes snapped open, an intense blue that was filled with a desperate plea.

"Yes," Charlie whispered, pressing back into Locke's warm strength. "Oh, yes. Let's set him free."

“I was hoping you’d say that,” Locke said warmly. He pulled Charlie around long enough for a quick kiss and then gently propelled him towards Boone.

Not too long ago, Charlie had called Boone ‘pretty boy’ and meant it as an insult. As he approached the other man, he realized just how true his words had been. True and certainly *not* an insult.

“You are so beautiful,” Charlie whispered, reaching up to cup Boone’s face.

Boone flinched away from Charlie’s hand, looking beyond the smaller man’s shoulder to glance beseechingly at Locke.

“It’s all right, Boone,” Locke encouraged. “Charlie’s a good man. You’ve learned to let go; now it’s time to learn to hang on.”

Charlie was short, slight and had a face that was open and cute. No one had ever been intimidated by him before. It was a different feeling, seeing the ultra-suave Boone flinch from him; people were more likely to want to pinch his cheeks or pat him on the top of the head. Only Locke had looked deeper and Charlie had responded to that respect with everything that was in him. Seeing the wounded look in Boone’s eyes and the way that he obviously trusted Locke struck a cord with Charlie. Here was another man that Locke was in the process of healing. Charlie understood and that understanding was even more intoxicating that Boone’s good looks.

“Hey, it’s okay,” Charlie crooned. “We’re not here to hurt you. Only want to make you feel good.”

This time, the former rock singer was successful when he cupped Boone’s face. When Boone didn’t flinch, Charlie trailed his hand down the taut line of Boone’s neck and over his shoulder with exaggerated slowness, as if he were trying to soothe a wild animal. Charlie was vaguely aware of Locke coming to Boone’s other side, doing the same. Whatever lingering resentment Charlie had harbored for sharing his lover melted away in the heat the three of them were generating.

Locked kissed Boone first, drawing a moan from the bound man. Boone tried to lean into the kiss, but the way he was tied prevented it. Charlie continued to skim his hands across Boone’s body. He assumed that Locke had tied the ropes. They were configured in a complex manner, ensuring that Boone couldn’t move a hand without tightening the strands that were wound around his throat. Charlie could only wonder at why being tied like that would make anyone feel secure.

When Locke pulled away from Boone’s lips, Charlie took his place. He moved slowly when he brought his mouth to Boone’s, never taking his eyes away from the other man’s. There was something about the vulnerability of Boone being tied that made Charlie feel protective. This kiss, or anything else, wouldn’t happen unless Boone wanted it.

Boone seemed to sense his hesitation. “Please,” he whispered, closing his eyes as he tilted his head towards Charlie.

Charlie was happy to oblige him. He tasted Locke on Boone’s lips and immediately deepened the kiss, plundering Boone’s mouth eagerly, protectiveness forgotten in a wave of desire. Boone responded, opening wide for Charlie, tongue darting shyly inside of the shorter man’s mouth. Charlie moaned and pressed forward, feeling bound himself by the other man’s reactions.

He actually forgot about Locke until the older man’s hand cupped around his ass.

Charlie reluctantly pulled his mouth off of Boone’s, noting with delight how flushed the other man looked. Charlie grinned in satisfaction and turned to face Locke. The older man was now nude himself, which explained what he’d been doing while Charlie had been doing a tongue tango with Boone.

“And here I thought the challenge was going to be persuading you to share *me* with Boone, not the other way around,” Locke teased.

Charlie grinned, reaching up to kiss Locke slowly and sloppily. The older man’s erection was already hard and swollen, but Charlie wasn’t worried; he knew from experience that his lover could stay that way for hours.

Shivering at the memories that thought sparked, Charlie stepped back to shuck his own clothes. Given the state of his arousal, he’d planned on ripping them off and rejoining the action as soon as possible. What Charlie hadn’t counted on, however, was how watching Locke kissing and caressing Boone would affect him. Not surprising, Locke dominated Boone, towering over the kneeling man and taking his mouth aggressively. Not that Boone was complaining; he opened his mouth and took what Locke gave him, gazing up at him with something akin to adoration. Only when Boone started to whimper did Locke ease up.

The older man’s hands started roaming over Boone’s body, skimming under the ropes when they got in the way. The younger man’s cock had filled out nicely and Boone was starting to writhe in his bindings. Locke smiled and looked over at Charlie.

“Aren’t you going to join us?” He asked. “We’re getting close.”

Charlie swallowed and, following Locke’s lead, stroked his hands across Boone’s skin. When he found a tender spot that made the other man shiver, Charlie lingered there, using his mouth to mark it for later study. He stopped only to trade frequent deep kisses with Locke and was soon as hard and needy as he’d ever been.

It was Locke, of course, who directed where the action headed next. “Charlie,” he finally said, stepping behind Boone and gathering him close, ropes and all. “I think Boone’s ready now. Aren’t you, Boone?”

Boone simply nodded without even asking what he was supposed to be ready for.

The dark-haired man was still kneeling, but was now essentially in Locke’s lap. Boone’s erection jutted out proudly and Charlie knew exactly what Locke had in mind for him to do.

Kneeling in front of Boone, Charlie bent and licked the side of Boone’s cock before taking it completely into his mouth. The other man jumped, only Locke’s strong arms keeping him from thrusting forward and gagging Charlie.

“Oh, God,” Boone whimpered.

“It’s all right, Boone,” Locke reassured him. “This is the way it’s supposed to feel. No ulterior motives. No one is using your body to get power over you; it’s just a sharing between people who truly care about one another.”

Charlie enjoyed giving head and he was good at it too. When he’d still be in the midst of his 15 minutes of rock-n-roll fame, Charlie had taken his share of lovers, male and female. None had compared to Locke, but Charlie was fairly confident that nothing and no one ever would. Boone, however, might come close. He hadn’t much use for him before, but a Boone with his sarcasm stripped away, vulnerable and needy… well, Charlie knew that the other young man had found a special place in his heart.

Happy at that thought, Charlie started humming. It was part of being a singer, that he tended to express himself with music, but his lovers never seemed to mind. Boone’s cock was still deep in Charlie’s throat and the vibration from the humming was having the desired affect.

“Oh, God, please!” Boone begged, still restrained by both the ropes and Locke’s grip.

“Please what, Boone?” Locke asked calmly. “What do you need?”

“I need to hold him, hold you,” Boone pleaded. “Please let me out of these ropes.”

Charlie was a little surprised by Boone’s answer; he’d expected the other man to plead for orgasm. He knew he would in Boone’s place. He let Boone’s cock slide out of his mouth and sat back on his heels, waiting for Locke’s answer.

Locke grinned broadly, fishing a knife out of… somewhere. Since he was nude, he didn’t have any pockets. Charlie tried not to think about that too deeply. Sometimes, with Locke, you simply didn’t want to know.

“All you ever had to do was ask.” Locke said simply.

The knife made short work of the ropes and Charlie helped Locke brush them away from Boone’s skin. He kissed each inch as it was freed, the ropes leaving slight red marks where Boone had wiggled against them. As soon as he was free, Boone pressed himself into Locke’s arms, kissing him deeply before turning to Charlie. To Charlie’s surprise, Boone all but launched himself at him, both of them ending up on the ground as he buckled under Boone’s larger weight.

“You are so beautiful,” Boone said hoarsely, echoing Charlie’s earlier words.

Charlie opened his mouth to deny the statement, but Boone filled it with his tongue as his lips descended on Charlie’s. As Boone bent to deepen the kiss, Charlie wrapped his legs around Boone’s hips, drawing the taller man closer. Their cocks rubbed together and Charlie watched with pleasure as Boone’s eyes dilated. One thrust, two, and then both of them erupted.

Boone collapsed on top of Charlie, both of them panting heavily. Charlie placed absent little kisses along Boone’s jaw, stopping only when Boone abruptly rolled over.

“Oh, shit,” Boone groaned. “We didn’t wait for Locke.”

Charlie propped himself up on one arm. Locke was squatting a few feet away, watching them with a happy smile.

“Don’t worry about him,” he said confidently. “We’re only getting started.”

Boone looked from Charlie to Locke and, seeing the truth written in their faces, did something he’d had little reason for doing since being on the island. He smiled.

Locke took Charlie first. With Boone being so new to having sex with other men, he figured it would be good for him to see Charlie enjoying himself thoroughly before trying it himself. Besides, John was extremely proud of Charlie and eager to show him exactly how he felt.

In fact, it had been hard to leave Charlie the last several days, with the younger man hurting because of Claire’s abduction and his own brush with death. It couldn’t be helped. There were others amongst the survivors who could assist Charlie with his pain better than Locke.

Not so Boone.

It had been a hard choice, but had been worth it. Boone had needed his help more than Locke had expected, but had come through admirably. And Charlie, generous soul that he was, not only wasn’t jealous, but had welcomed Boone with open arms – literally.

Locke closed his eyes and thrust forward into Charlie, loving how the younger man’s sturdy body absorbed the movement and welcomed him in. John was positioned behind his lover, who was facedown on top of Boone. The two young men were kissing as Locke penetrated Charlie, each surge forward of Locke’s hips pushing him that much deeper into Charlie and grinding Charlie against Boone.

Charlie groaned deeply, obviously relishing feeling Locke inside him at the same time Boone’s cock slid against his.

“Does it hurt?” Locke heard Boone whisper to the smaller man.

“No, feels bloody wonderful,” Charlie gasped. “Locke mixed up this slick stuff, better than lube. You’ll see.”

Locke decided the other two were talking too much. He’d been bracing himself above the younger men with his arms and making long, slow plunges into Charlie. Now he moved to his knees and grabbed Charlie’s hips, pounding into him harder. The motion lifted Charlie off of Boone a little and Boone reached up, stroking his hands across Charlie’s chest and abdomen, brow furrowed as he studied which caresses got him the best response.

John couldn’t prolong the experience as long as he would have liked, knowing he had another young man yet to satisfy. Despite Charlie’s opinion, Locke *was* merely human. Swiveling his hips just that extra inch to hit Charlie’s sweet spot, he kept up his pace, smiling in triumph when he heard Charlie start to babble. He felt Charlie tense underneath him as he climaxed, bathing Boone with his release. Locke kept thrusting throughout the smaller man’s orgasm, slowing his movements as Charlie’s body rippled around his own. When he felt he’d milked as much pleasure for Charlie as possible, he pulled out, letting Charlie collapse on top of Boone.

Breathing hard, Locke sank to the ground and rolled over onto his back, cock still erect and pointing to the night sky. After a few moments, he’d caught his breath and looked over to see Boone cradling Charlie. As he watched, Boone dipped a finger into a stream of Charlie’s come that had sprayed onto his thigh. The dark-haired young man brought the finger to his mouth, tasting it tentatively with his tongue. Boone’s face was a study in concentration as he mulled the flavor, before finally sticking the entire finger in and sucking it clean.

“Charlie,” Locke called softly. “Help me get Boone ready.”

The blond grinned, already mostly recovered from his own orgasm. Between the two of them, they got Boone on his back and started playing with him, coaxing him into spreading his legs wide for their ministrations. With Charlie’s friendly enthusiasm and Locke’s steady reassurance, Boone was soon eager rather than apprehensive.

Locke took Boone from the front, knowing that the young man needed to see clearly who was making love to him. It wasn’t the easiest position for a first-timer, but Charlie being there too helped. The young man cradled Boone’s head in his lap and whispered encouragement through the first few painful moments of penetration. When Locke was sheathed, he bent down and kissed first Boone, then Charlie.

“Oh, God,” Boone moaned. “Burns.”

“It’ll get better, you’ll see,” Charlie encouraged the other man. His hands roamed over Boone’s chest, tweaking Boone’s nipples and fisting the other man’s flagging cock.

Locke was glad Boone was virgin where male sex was concerned. It meant that this act was pure for him and had no connections with Shannon or her manipulations. He patiently stayed still while Boone’s body adjusted to him, waiting until he felt the tight passage relax. With that, Locke manhandled Boone’s legs onto his shoulders and steadied his hands against the younger man’s hips.

“Ready?” He asked.

Boone bit his lip and nodded. Locke shared a smile with Charlie, knowing that Boone was about to discover something wonderful.

His first thrust was so slow that it almost drove Locke over the edge. It had taken patience to penetrate Boone’s virgin passage and, apparently, once he was inside, it was reluctant to let him go. Determination was the key and as Locke persisted with the movement, he felt Boone’s body adjust around him. He slid almost all the way out, before reversing his motion and just as slowly thrusting back in.

“Oh, God,” Boone moaned. His hips lifted a little and Locke smiled in satisfaction.

As Boone’s ease grew, Locke’s thrusts intensified. Charlie continued to croon encouragement in Boone’s ear and stroke Boone’s body wherever he could. Once past his initial discomfort, Boone was a responsive lover, lifting his hips and undulating, encouraging Locke to go deeper.

Locke had already made love to one young man and knew he couldn’t last much longer. He kept his gaze riveted to Boone’s face and when he saw the younger man’s eyelids begin to flutter, shrugged Boone’s legs off his shoulders. He relinquished his hold on Boone’s hips to push his lover’s legs back, splaying him wide. In that position, he finally found Boone’s sweet spot and nailed it for several thrusts in a row.

Boone’s eyes rolled back in his head and he came, oddly silent as orgasm ripped through him. Locke groaned long and loud as his body finally gave in to a climax of its own, thrusting in one last time and ejaculating deep within Boone’s body. He collapsed on top of the younger man, kissing him before snagging Charlie close and kissing him too.

“The two of you,” Charlie murmured, awe in his voice. “You’re fucking beautiful together.”

“We’re all together,” Locke told him firmly. “You were part of this before Boone and you’re still part of it.”

“Thank God,” Charlie said fervently. “I used to think that the guys in the band were depraved or something for enjoying threesomes, but now… Now I wouldn’t want to give it up.”

Locke looked up from checking on Boone, who was out cold. The dark-haired young man was already fast asleep. Locke lay down and pulled Boone next to him and then reached for Charlie, pulling him close to his other side.

“You won’t have to give it up,” Locke reassured the young man with a kiss to the top of his head. “The three of us, that’s the way it’s supposed to be.”

Charlie yawned. “Good.”

Locke smiled. “You go on asleep, I’m just going to lay here a while. I’ll take first watch.”

He watched as Charlie joined Boone in sleep. The blond draped himself across Locke, as though he were the older man’s blanket. Boone, in contrast, was curled in on himself, as though doubting his place, even in sleep.

Locke himself had no doubts. Of all the survivors, he was probably the only one glad for the crash. He didn’t feel guilty for feeling that way; he hadn’t asked for the horrible accident to happen. That it had and that he had survived… it seemed too much to be a coincidence.

There was a time - just a few days ago, in fact - when he would have considered the return of his legs’ functionality as the island’s greatest gift to him. Now he knew better. The island’s greatest gifts were snuggled to either side of him.

As he stared up into the night sky, Locke only hoped that he would prove worthy of the island’s trust.

~the end~


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