A Head for Tails

by Juli

January 2005

“Temporary Protected Status (TPS) is a temporary immigration status granted eligible nationals of designated dimensions or spiritual states of being. In 1990, as part of the Paranormal Immigration Act of 1990 (PIA-90), Congress established a program by which the director of the Bureau of Paranormal Research and Defense may provide TPS to aliens or paranormal entities temporarily unable to safely return to their home dimension because of ongoing conflict….”


John Myers gripped his file closer, studiously ignoring the red tail that had just thumped it from underneath. He’d known it was a bad idea to do this paperwork in bed but HB had looked so disappointed… he should have known that the demon wouldn’t behave.

“…. Because of ongoing conflict, the temporary effects of a paranormal disaster or other extrasensory temporary conditions. On March 1, 2006, pursuant to the Homeland Security Act, Public Law 107-296, the authority to designate a dimension (or part thereof) TPS and to extend and terminate TPS designations, will be transferred from the director of the Bureau of Paranormal Research and Defense to the President of the United States….”


Myers was determined not to give in. Red got his way far too often and the demon wouldn’t be the one raked over the coals when John didn’t get this work done. One of them had to be responsible….


“Red, c’mon!” John cried out in frustration as his file folder was fwipped right out of his hands. “I thought you were gonna watch the game?”

Hellboy had glanced over when John started talking and was currently attempting to look as innocent as a 6’5” scarlet-hued demon could.

“What?” HB asked through a mouthful of potato chips, crumbs flying. “I am watchin’ the game.”

“Not all of you is,” Myers retorted, pointing at Hellboy’s tail.

The offending appendage whisked out of sight.

“Damn thing has a mind of its own,” Hellboy grumbled.

“Convenient,” John rolled his eyes. “HB, you promised you’d behave if I did my paperwork in bed and kept you company while you watched the game.”

Hellboy grinned. “Yeah but I never said whose definition of ‘behave’ I would use.”

While he spoke, his tail snaked beneath John’s thigh and inched towards the heat of the young man’s groin.

“All work and no play makes Johnny a dull boy,” HB leered.

“Red….” Myers started to protest. His words abruptly broke off as the tail slipped down his sweatpants and tickled a particularly sensitive spot.

Hellboy chuckled low in his throat, a bass rumble that caused John’s skin to erupt in goosebumps. The demon gleefully put his bowl of chips aside and used his tail to pull Myers on top of him.

As he ground their crotches together, HB asked his lover, “Do you like how I’m behavin’ now?”

Myers used one hand to brace himself against Hellboy’s chest. The other, he used to caress the stumps on the demon’s forehead. “I think you give the term ‘horny’ a whole new meaning.”

HB’s yellow eyes opened wide in feigned wonder. “You made a funny. John Myers actually cracked a joke.” Then the demon’s eyes narrowed. “About my horns.”

“Oops.” John grinned down at him unrepentantly. HB’s tail moved between his legs to strip him of his pants, helping John transition his frustration to desire.

Red used his hands to part Myers’ bared cheeks, giving his tail room to delve between. John gasped and Hellboy grinned savagely.

“I think, young man, that I shall have to teach you the error of your ways,” the demon growled. He moved quickly, more quickly than his large size would seem capable of, and flipped them, towering over the more slender human form of his lover.

Myers seemed unperturbed at the change in position. “You are, huh?”

“Ooooh, yeah,” HB purred. “Startin’ now.”

Whatever quip John would have made was swallowed as Hellboy’s lips descended on his own. The last of his irritation at his lover was burned away by the kiss, the heat of HB’s tongue warming both John’s body and soul. The young FBI agent whimpered in sudden need and pressed himself closer to Hellboy’s bulk.

Their lips parted with a moist sigh and HB chuckled softly in triumph. “Liked that, did you?”

John briefly considered pretending to pout, but seeing the gleam in Hellboy’s eye made him change his mind. “You know I did.”

“Thought so,” the demon said with satisfaction. “Bet you’ll like this more than any stuffy paperwork.”

A sharp tug of Hellboy’s stone hand and John was stripped of his sweatshirt. Literally, since the fleece fabric ripped to shreds as HB pulled it off the human’s body.

“Hmmmm…” Hellboy murmured as he nuzzled behind Myers’ ear. He carefully lowered his body onto John’s, rubbing against him wherever their flesh met, acting like one of his tomcats instead of a demon.

John gasped as he felt Hellboy’s familiar weight settle on top of him. He instinctively opened his legs as wide as he could, cradling his lover close. Myers’ mouth searched for HB’s as their groins slid against each other. John might have been too dedicated to work to start this tryst, but thanks to Hellboy’s ministrations, now he was on fire and as eager as Hellboy to continue.

There was just one problem….

“Red,” John gasped. The demon was in the process on nibbling his way down Myers’ neck and the young man had to forcibly pull away so he could focus enough to get his words out. “Red, your pants.”

HB growled, not happy at the interruption. “What’s the problem? I stopped wearing leather to bed, just like you asked. ”

John looked up at his lover. Since Hellboy’s skin was already scarlet, he didn’t flush the way a human did, but Myers judged the demon’s mood by his tail. It was lashing back and forth, a good sign that HB was thoroughly involved in their activities. So much so, in fact, that he hadn’t noticed he was still partially clothed.

“The only problem I have with your pants, Red,” John said, trying hard not to laugh, “is that they’re still on.”

HB looked down quickly. When he looked back up at Myers, he had a sheepish look on his face. “Oh.”

The demon’s pants were in a size that could only be ordered from a uniform company that specialized in apparel for professional football teams. HB moved to pull them down, but John stopped him.

“Let me,” the human said softly.

Hellboy obediently took his hands away and John smiled happily. Moving reverently, he slid his fingers inside the elastic of the waistband. He kept eye contact with Hellboy as he began to slide the soft, gray garment down HB’s hips, having to tug a little as the size of the demon’s erection impeded the movement. The pants caught for a moment on the prominent bulge, but then jerked past. Freed, HB’s cocked bounced up and the demon sighed as the engorged organ was bared to the air.

“Feel better?” John asked indulgently. He’d wiggled down on the bed in order to slide Hellboy’s pants all of the way off and was no longer eye-to-eye with his lover.

“Get back up here, you,” Hellboy growled, reaching for the human.

John ducked, intent on finishing his task. With deliberate slowness, he continued to slither the garment down Hellboy’s thighs, almost absently kissing HB’s hip as he bent down. He guided the pants past the demon’s calves and finally off his feet. Before he could grab the discarded pile of cloth, however, Hellboy kicked it away and, this time, managed to get his hands on John.

“Come here,” Hellboy said, voice thick with desire. He pulled John on top of him again and wrapped his flesh hand around the back of Myers’ neck. Using that grip, he pulled John to him, kissing the young man over and over again.

Myers’ braced himself against HB’s chest using his hands. Still returning HB’s kisses, he began stroking his fingers across the demon’s skin. When he brushed against the taut nubs of HB’s nipples, he lingered, blindly caressing them until they were even more erect.

“Ah….” Hellboy moaned.

The demon thrust his hips up so enthusiastically that he almost dislodged Myers. John jockeyed to keep his seat, ending their kisses with a nip to HB’s lower lip.

“Ow,” Hellboy complained.

“Don’t be such a baby, Red,” John teased.

“Who you callin’ a baby, Squirt?” HB grated out. He gripped the young man’s hips and ground their groins together.

Myers gasped in response and gripped Hellboy’s forearms. The demon’s hands remained on John’s hips and the human undulated in a counter-rhythm to Hellboy’s thrusts.

While the couple enjoyed making love using penetration, they often were too impatient to go through the preparations necessary for John to take HB inside himself. They didn’t mind; any way they shared their bodies was fulfilling.

“Need more, Red,” John moaned. Their bodies had been rocking together for several minutes by that point. As pleasurable as the sensations were, the pressure was building.

“I’ve got you, Johnny,” Hellboy promised.

The demon took his stone hand from Myers’ hip and used it to carefully fist John’s cock along with his own. Something about the texture of that massive hand always drove John crazy and this time was no different.

“Yesssss….” John hissed, hips twitching in response to the added stimulation.

Hellboy carefully stroked up and down, his cock and John’s making an odd sort of bouquet in his hand. He never lost awareness, however, of the relatively fragile nature of his human lover. His stone hand was massive, but he wielded it with infinite gentleness.

Time had stopped for John. It was as though the world had paused, waiting while he balanced on the edge of need and completion. His demon lover chose that moment to circle the engorged head of Myers’ penis with his thumb, coaxing the slit into freeing John’s release.

The touch was electric, but John didn’t reach the pinnacle until he looked down at his bedmate. Hellboy was gazing up at him, such love radiating from his demon-yellow eyes that just seeing it sent Myers over the top. The young man’s cries were almost sobs as his body spasmed in release. Hellboy groaned underneath John and followed suit, bathing their stomachs in sticky white fluid. When it was over, John collapsed against HB’s massive chest with a satisfied groan. The demon’s flesh hand came up and automatically stroked up and down Myers’ spine.

“I keep telling you that I’m not one of your cats,” John grumbled sleepily.

“You want me to stop?” HB challenged, taking his hand off Myers’ skin and stopping the petting.

“No-o-o,” John protested, wiggling on top of his lover in an obvious attempt to entice the demon into resuming the motion.

“Then quit your bitchin’,” HB said, his rough words a direct contrast to his gentle tone.

“Mmmmmm…” Myers came dangerously close to purring as Hellboy resumed his stroking. The touch felt so good, though, that John didn’t even feel embarrassed at the obvious cat comparison.

John must have fallen asleep for a moment, because the next he knew, he was on his back. Still fuzzy and not quite awake, he looked from side to side, but couldn’t see Hellboy. A warm sensation in his groin, however, quickly clued him in to the demon’s location. Lifting his head up a little, Myers looked down his body and found HB kneeling between his legs. He shivered as Hellboy made another swipe with his tongue. His lover looked like one of the cats, licking off the cream of their orgasms.

“Hey, I said you’d enjoy what I had in mind more than any fussy paperwork,” HB said when he noticed his lover was awake.

Paperwork. Damn.

John groaned as he looked around the bed more carefully. Papers were strewn everywhere. No doubt they were sticky too. The human’s head fell back, hitting the pillow with a muffled thump. Irma, the assistant that handled the paperwork for the BPRD, was old enough to be his mother. Somehow, John couldn’t imagine telling her that he needed another copy of the documents because his original set now had spunk all over them.

“You work too much, John,” HB said. “You need to lighten up a little. Not be so stiff all the time.”

“One of us has to be the responsible one,” Myers retorted.

“Hey, I’m as responsible as the next guy,” Hellboy claimed. “See, I’m even cleaning up my own mess.” He took another lick and then looked at John with a smirk. “Gotta say, you’re livin’ up to your nickname, Squirt.

John couldn’t help but laugh. “You’re impossible.”

“Nah,” HB said. He’d finished cleaning them off and crawled back up the bed. “Now, it occurred to me… if you’re gonna be stiff all the time, we might as well take advantage of it….”

Myers had learned early on that the demon had amazing powers of recuperation. Being a young human male enjoying his sexual peak, John considered it to be one of the real perks of being a demon’s lover. HB was already hard again when he pulled John into his arms. Myers wasn’t, yet, but he knew he would be. Hellboy would make sure of that.

Even so, there was a small part of John that wasn’t paying attention as HB started Round Two. Before that tiny piece of Myers’ brain was fried by Hellboy’s ministrations, it was contemplating only one thing….


“I don’t know why we gotta visit that old rat-trap again,” Hellboy grumbled.

“The Metropolitan Museum of Art is hardly a ‘rat-trap,’” Abe chided him gently. “It’s one of the most respected depositories of antiquities in North America.”

“Not to mention, a tax-paying entity that helps fund our little clandestine government organization,” Manning interjected. He looked around the table, but saved his glare for Hellboy. “We’re civil servants, after all. It’s our duty to the American public to check the museum’s arrivals for any supernatural taint.”

Hellboy glowered at Manning, but held his peace. Normally, he didn’t mind a trip outside of the BPRD’s walls. Today, however, he’d had plans, plans that included a certain FBI agent and a brand new jar of fudge sauce….

Unfortunately, the best laid plans weren’t guaranteed to be successful. Instead of lazing the day away in bed with John, licking fudge sauce off of various parts of the human’s body, HB had found himself pulled into a meeting. Even worse, the meeting was a precursor to a mission that would likely take all day. It was enough to make a demon’s tail twitch.

“If everyone does their jobs right,” Manning shot Hellboy a significant look. HB just puckered his lips and blew him silent kisses. “If everyone does their jobs right, this shouldn’t take too long. We already checked the bulk of MMA’s shipment last week. Johnson, Cabrionni, you’ll cover the front entrance….”

As Manning went into the minutia of assignments for the mission, Hellboy sulked. It wasn’t fair. Just because the shipping company had screwed up and misplaced a couple of boxes that were then delivered late, they had to make another trip. Sometimes, HB wished the American public would fend for themselves for a change.

Despite his frequent claims to Myers, Hellboy did, in fact, always have an awareness of where his tail was. At the moment, it was under the table, whipping back and fourth in an agitated manner. Or, at least it was until someone grabbed it.

Hellboy slumped in his chair. John, embodying temptation itself, was sitting next to him. His oh-so-responsible lover was always admonishing him to pay attention in meetings. HB couldn’t even look at him, knowing John had captured his tail in an attempt to make Hellboy behave.

Well, HB had news for John; he didn’t feel like behaving.

HB was in full sulk mode and it took him a minute to become aware that John wasn’t merely holding his tail; he was stroking it. The touches were light and definitely not controlling in nature. Fingers playfully circled the tip of the demon’s tail, spiraling to the very apex of its wedge-shaped end. It was almost the exact same technique Myers used when he was handling HB’s….

Startled at the thought, HB glanced at John. The human had an angelically innocent look on his face and was even taking notes with the hand that wasn’t occupied with Hellboy’s tail. Myers looked for all the world like he was enraptured by a perfectly mundane, dull meeting.

Hellboy tugged his tail. There was resistance at first, but he was slowly able to pull it out of John’s grasp. He felt every inch as it slipped through Myers’ fingers and the sensation made him shiver. HB watched John’s face carefully, but not so much as a glimmer of a smile marred the young man’s expression of interested concentration.

Someone clearing his throat, loudly, diverted Hellboy’s attention.

“I said,” Manning said with deliberateness, “If we’re all clear on what needs to be done, we can get this show on the road. Isn’t that right, Hellboy?”

“Uh,” Hellboy looked at Abe, who nodded at him slightly. The two had worked together for decades and HB knew he could trust him to fill him in later. “Yeah. Crystal clear.”

Manning studied him, but apparently was satisfied by what he saw. “Good. Meet at the truck in five minutes.”

The group broke up, but Hellboy stayed behind and watched as John gathered up us papers. HB wanted to ask his lover what he’d been doing with his tail. He even opened his mouth to say the words, but nothing came out.

“What?” John had finished getting his stuff together and had noticed the demon watching him.

HB wanted to accuse Myers, but of what? Keeping him entertained during a dull meeting? That hardly seemed fair.

“You ‘bout done?” He finally muttered. “We need to get out to the truck.”

John gave him an odd look, but gamely smiled. “All set.”

By the time HB was settled in the converted garbage truck that served as the team’s inconspicuous transportation, he’d convinced himself that he’d been imagining things. Of all people in the world, John Myers was the absolute last one to screw off during a meeting. He decided that it must have been his own wishful thinking that colored his perception of the way Myers’ had fondled his tail.

As usual, it was only the three of them in the truck’s interior. Hellboy, John and Abe. The young FBI agent chatted amicably with Abe as the fish-man donned his breathing apparatus. The normality of the situation lulled HB further and he chided himself for his earlier perception.

Until, that was, he realized that John was sitting on his tail.

Not only was Myers sitting on his tail, but the end of it was sticking up between the human’s legs. It didn’t hurt, of course. HB was a demon, and could endure a lot of punishment; it would take more than the negligible weight of one slight human to cause his tail pain. It wasn’t that John was sitting on HB’s tail that bothered him, however, it was the realization of what Myers was doing it with that disconcerted the demon.

While chatting with Abe, John had started stroking HB’s tail. He wrapped his hand around it and slid it up and down with a long, languid motion. The movement brought back another set of memories and Hellboy gulped loudly.

“Red, are you all right?” Abe asked in concern.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Hellboy said quickly. “Just had a frog in my throat.”

John put his free hand to HB’s forehead. “I hope you’re not coming down with something.”

“Nah, you know me,” the demon said, embarrassed. “I’m too mean to get sick.”

“Perhaps I should take look,” Abe offered, reaching out to touch Hellboy.

“Hands off, Blue, I’m fine.” HB was a little short with Abe, but with the way he was feeling right now, there was no way he could afford to have his friend touch him.

Abe looked at him askance, but backed off. “All right, but if you start feeling ill….”

“You’ll be the first to know,” Hellboy promised.

John and Abe exchanged confused glances, but the human just shrugged and they went back to their conversation.

And Myers went back to fisting HB’s tail.

The demon squirmed, but was determined not to say anything. Abe and John were talking about the cooking channel, for cryin’ out loud. No matter what HB thought was going on, he was obviously out of his lust-filled mind. No way was John toying with him, not while heading for a mission. The human was probably unaware that he was even touching HB and the demon wasn’t going to bring his attention to it. Still, it was hard to sit there and not react to John’s petting, not when he enjoyed the human’s touch so much.

When they reached the museum and the garbage truck pulled up to the back, HB was out like a shot as soon as the door opened.

“Good to see you so enthusiastic, Red,” Abe said brightly. “I got the impression earlier that you didn’t care for this assignment.”

“I don’t,” HB snarled. John’s touches, unconsciously given or not, had reminded him of how he’d rather be spending his afternoon. “Let’s get this show on the road, Blue. Got places to go and people to see.”

Hellboy strode into the museum like a juggernaut. True, this assignment was more of a preventative measure rather than a battle that would need his adrenaline pumping, but HB was a demon on a mission. Get in, check the newly delivered crap out, get back to BPRD and fuck John Myers senseless. It wasn’t complicated, as far as plans went, but he was anxious to get started.

Abe tisked at him a little, but complied with Hellboy’s request for speed. The other FBI agents accompanying them spread out according to assignment, ensuring that no one caught sight of either Red or Blue. Once the perimeter was secured, Abe went in and began testing the additions to the museum’s collection. None of the other FBI agents needed to be in the room where they were working and so the three friends were alone.

Hellboy didn’t have Abe’s sensitivity for detecting any malevolent or supernatural nature of artifacts; he was there as pure muscle. He stayed in the area that Abe was checking, just in case the fish-man’s examination triggered something nasty, but he didn’t have to give what Abe was doing his full awareness. Normally, Hellboy would be happy dividing his attention between Abe’s work and John, but he was doing his best to avoid the young FBI agent. Having been unknowingly tortured by Myers twice already, the demon kept his tail firmly by his side. Otherwise, he was afraid he’d pounce Myers. Abe had a tolerant and patient nature, but there were limits, even for him.

Unfortunately for Hellboy, John was apparently unaware of the effect his nearness was having. When the demon stepped to the side to ostensibly study a glass display case full of Egyptian vases, Myers moved with him. The young man sidled close to the demon, completely invading HB’s personal space. He prattled on about the techniques used to date the artifacts and Hellboy couldn’t even spare any pride for how quickly his lover had become adept at such matters. Instead, he muttered under his breath and moved on to examine a huge Ming-era vase. Hellboy bent over to read the informational placard, hoping that Myers would think he was truly interested in the item.

“Don’t you think it’s fascinating, how the MMA receives antiquities from all over the world, in different time periods, all in one shipment?” John asked.

Hellboy didn’t think it was fascinating at all. Or, to be more accurate, he didn’t think it was nearly as fascinating as the sensation of John’s lithe body pressed along his back, as the shorter human did his best to lean over Hellboy’s considerable bulk to read the sign.

“Fascinating, Boy Scout,” HB grumbled. “Blue, you about done?”

“Have patience, Red,” Abe chided him. “Some of these items are centuries old, it takes time to sift through their true nature.”

In real time, the chore only took about an hour. It felt much longer to Hellboy. Acting like a little demon himself, John stuck by Hellboy’s side, seeming to brush up against his lover’s body at every opportunity. If it hadn’t been for Myers’ clear, innocent expression, HB would have been worried that the human was possessed. As it was, he kept silent about that accusation, but urged Abe to finish quickly so often that the fish-man finally snapped at him and told him to quit whining.

That exchange seemed to mellow John somewhat. He kept his distance from Hellboy for the short time it took Abe to finish and the trio was soon headed back for the garbage truck.

“Sorry about that, fellas,” Agent Johnson said as they were climbing into their transport. “Better luck next time.”

HB blinked in mild surprise as Johnson winked at him. Why would the FBI agent do that? Suspicious, he glared at Myers as the doors were shut and the truck got underway.

“You,” he directed, pointing at John. “Sit there. I will sit over here.”

“O-o-o-kay,” Myers responded, brow furrowed with that adorable little wrinkle of confusion that Hellboy normally found irresistible. “But, why?”

Hellboy made a display of plopping himself down in the seat he’d just assigned himself, the one the furthest distance from where he’d ordered John to sit. “Because I said so, Squirt, that’s why.”

The demon wasn’t taking any chances. He didn’t know Johnson well enough yet to joke around with him and the only reason he could think of for the FBI agent to wink at him was that the other man had picked up on how… frisky… John was acting. Having Myers acting funny was disconcerting enough all by itself; the last thing HB needed was the other FBI agents finding it funny.

John sighed so strongly that his explosive exhalation of air made his bangs flutter. Sitting obediently where his lover had indicated, Myers did his best to smooth his hair back into place. HB’s fingers twitched. He loved mussing John’s hair, but it could wait a few minutes. Just long enough to get back to the BPRD, make it to their quarters, and get that damn jar of fudge open.

The rest of the trip was made in relative silence. While clearly not as stressed as the other two, Abe seemed satisfied with the quiet. Normally the peacemaker in the group, he made no effort to diffuse the situation. In fact, Abe seemed quite pleased with it. If he hadn’t already been on the edge, Hellboy might have asked his friend about that. As it was, he simply concentrated on staying on his side of the truck and keeping his hands off his lover.

When they arrived at the BPRD, John was the first out the door. HB would have been quick to follow, but Abe got up at just the right moment to block him. The demon tried to be patient, but couldn’t help growling when Abe started fiddling with his equipment, effectively pinning the demon inside the truck.

“C’mon, Blue,” HB whined. “I got to get out of this damn tin can.”

Abe sighed and moved aside. “Oh, very well.”

Hellboy jumped out enthusiastically, but came to a dead stop as he saw John pulling out cash from his pocket and distributing it among the FBI agents that had just accompanied them.

“What the hell?” HB muttered under his breath, knowing his lover couldn’t hear him from the distance he was standing. “Squirt, what are you up to?”

Abe had clambered out of the truck behind HB and said quietly, “All work and no play makes Hellboy a dull… boy.”

HB looked from John to Abe, comprehension quickly coming. “You mean, this whole mission, the way John was actin’, it was all a set-up?”

A smile tugged at the corners of Abe’s mouth. “Can you really imagine John Myers behaving in such a manner on a real mission? Even one as simple as this one was supposed to be?”

The demon shook his head, dumbfounded. “No, I suppose not.” He began to think of all those little touches, the way John had played with his tail…. “And everybody knew but me. That little shit!”

HB started to move towards John, a dark expression on his face. Abe grabbed him by the arm and, using strength surprising in his supple body, pulled the demon around to the side of the truck, out of the humans’ sight.

“Think about it a minute before you go storming off, Red,” Abe counseled him. “Think about what John did and, more importantly, why.”

“Yeah, he paid off the other agents to be part of the joke,” Hellboy fumed. “And got you to be part of it too. I was the only one who didn’t know that the whole thing was all a fake.”

Abe sighed. “Red, John paid the other agents because this was their day off. He didn’t want to deplete the BPRD’s normal shift for the day. And everyone wasn’t in on it. Manning doesn’t know it, but John and I actually cleared the shipment yesterday, while you were having your physical training session with the new agents and Manning was in budget meetings.”

HB thought about it for a minute, mollified a bit by the fact that Manning, whom he still didn’t like, hadn’t been part of the plot. “But… why?”

“Aren’t you the one who is always trying to get John to lighten up and be more playful?” Abe pointed out. “Interrupting his work, even? This was his way to try and be that for you, in a way that still made sure you were completely safe.”

Hellboy bent his head, feeling like a jerk. Abe was right and it was only a few days ago that he’d lured John into doing work in bed and then seduced him away from it. Myers was only trying to reciprocate.

HB’s lips twitched as he thought of something. “He managed to have the shipment checked out without me or Manning knowing about it and arranged to have off duty FBI agents available so he wouldn’t be using resources the BPRD needed for normal operations.” Hellboy shook his head. “Only John Myers would put so much planning into being spontaneous.”

“For you,” Abe added.

“For me,” HB agreed.

The fish-man looked at him levelly. “So, what are you going to do about it, Red?”

Hellboy grinned. “The only thing I can do about it – appreciate his efforts.”

Rubbing his hands together, Hellboy strode around from the side of the truck. John had finished up with the other agents and was standing, rather forlorn and alone, looking for his lover.

“There you are, Squirt,” HB said heartily. “C’mon, all work and no play makes me a dull boy.”

John barely had time to grin before, whooping, Hellboy scooped him up and flung him over his shoulder.

“Let’s go, Myers,” the demon growled playfully, “there’s a jar of fudge sauce with your name on it.”

He felt, rather than heard, John laugh in response. The human was breathless from his abrupt landing over HB’s shoulder and the tickling of HB’s tail made sure he stayed that way.

“Do all demons have a sweet tooth?” Myers asked.

HB growled again, this time not entirely playfully. “Dunno, but I damn well better be the only demon with this particular sweet tooth.”

By accident or design, they didn’t meet anyone else as they made their way towards the converted vault that served as Hellboy’s quarters. Hellboy was vaguely aware of the door shutting behind them with a dull thud, just as he was aware at some level of the constant mewing and purring of his multitude of cats. He paid no attention to either. Instead, all of his focus was on the maddening and generous human who’d been kind enough to share his life with him.

He slid John gently off his shoulder and into his arms. HB was kissing his human lover just as soon as Myers’ mouth was on level with his, stealing John’s breath and claiming it for his own. His tail wrapped around the nearest of John’s legs, connecting them at as many points as possible.

“You had me worried for a minute,” John gasped as their lips finally parted. He clutched HB’s broad shoulders for support as the demon began laving his neck with his tongue. “I was afraid you were mad at me.”

HB let the human slide the rest of the way down until John’s feet were on the ground. Then, he immediately bent forward and stole another deep kiss.

“I was,” Hellboy admitted when he’d released John’s mouth. He put a finger to John’s lips as the young man opened his mouth to speak. “Abe explained it to me. I’m proud of you, Squirt. Didn’t know you had it in you.”

Myers smiled in relief. “What can I say? You inspire me.”

“Speaking of inspiration,” Hellboy purred, looking around. “There’s a jar of fudge sauce around here – somewhere – with your name on it.”

The sound Myers made was part gasp and part laugh. “That’s a terrible segue, Red. What’s fudge sauce have to do with inspiration?”

“Says you,” the demon grumbled as he reached for John’s suit coat, “The thought of you and liquid fudge is plenty inspiring for me.” He made a grab at a nearby shelf. “Aha! Here it is!”

“Oh, no,” John protested, attempting to back out of the demon’s grasp. “You are not opening that until I get my clothes off.”

HB, however, had been teased and put off enough for one day. “Myers,” he said with exasperation, “you’ve got eleven navy blue suits. It won’t hurt nothin’ to get one a little sticky.”

“Are you sure about that number?” John challenged. “What about the time you pulled me into the shower? Wool and hot water do not make a great combination.”

The demon rolled his eyes. “All right, already, so you’ve got ten navy blue suits.”

“No, I don’t,” Myers protested, even as he planted a kiss on HB’s chest. “Remember when you ripped one off me, after we got back from sending that Agoth demon back to his dimension?”

“He wanted to take you with him,” Hellboy said plaintively, not mentioning how that incident had scared the crap out of him. “I was just in a hurry to check you over, make sure you were okay.”

“Uh-huh,” Myers grinned. “And then there was the suit that-….”

HB stopped his litany with a kiss. “You made your point, Squirt.”

The demon put the fudge sauce down and, using exaggerated care, removed Myers’ suit coat. He shook it out sharply before folding it with precision and laying it across the back of a handy chair.

Laughing, John asked, “What are you doing?”

“I’m making sure your suit doesn’t get ruined,” HB explained. “Because you only have -….”

He looked at Myers expectantly.

“Seven,” John supplied.

“Because you only have seven left,” HB continued. His fingers deftly removed John’s tie and it was just as carefully placed with the jacket. He then began working on John’s shirt buttons, kissing Myers’ chest as each one was undone. The human’s skin was still covered by a t-shirt and the demon’s lips left little moist patches that trailed all the way down to where the cloth disappeared inside Myers’ pants.

“You know, Red,” John panted as Hellboy skimmed the shirt off his shoulders. “You don’t have to be quite this careful.”

“Na-huh,” the demon replied as the shirt received the same level of care as the jacket and tie had. “Can’t have it both ways. You wanted to keep the suit clean, so the suit is gonna stay clean.”

Hellboy grinned at Myers’ frustrated moan. He loved that John had teased him earlier, but payback was a bitch. He kissed Myers’ lips again even as his slid his hands inside the waistband of the human’s pants, heading for his lover’s delectable ass. To his surprise, however, John immediately grabbed them and kept HB from doing any groping.

“Careful doesn’t have to mean slow, Big Guy,” Myers said, toeing off his shoes and socks. “I’m beginning to think you don’t want to get to the fudge, after all.”

HB growled and made short work of Myers’ belt, whipping it all the way out of the pant loops so fast that John jumped. Myers bit his lip as HB slowly unzipped his pants and, this time, didn’t stop the demon from fondling him. HB’s tail slid down the front of John’s pants, finding that the crotch of John’s underwear was damp. Hellboy bent down to nip sharply at the human’s neck as he guided the pants off Myers’ slender hips. John moaned in response, but had the presence of mind to step out of the garment at the appropriate moment.

With shaking hands, the demon folded Myers’ pants precisely, insuring that the crease was nice and crisp. He turned around to find John watching him intently, clad only in his t-shirt and boxers. Before Hellboy could react, John grinned fiercely and ripped his own shirt off. HB lifted one eyebrow archly in a silent question and the FBI agent shrugged.

“I’ve got plenty of underwear,” he said by way of explanation. Myers licked his lips and nodded towards Hellboy. “Now it’s your turn, Red. I bet chocolate’s hard to get out of leather.”

HB’s eyes never left John’s as he briskly removed his trench coat. The demon dramatically bunched the much-abused garment into a ball and tossed it into the corner of the room. His boots were also quickly pried off and thrown aside, leaving Hellboy only in his tight leather pants. He watched with satisfaction as Myers’ eyes dilated when he reached for the heavy metal snap.

Hellboy wore leather because it was almost as durable as his own hide. There were situations, however, when it was more trouble than it was worth. Peeling the skin-tight stuff off a highly aroused body was definitely one of those situations. With grunts of effort and muffled curses of frustration, Hellboy persevered with the determination that had meant the end of many a supernatural foe. Eventually, the pants were flying through the air and the demon was as naked as when he’d come into the world.

HB reached for John to rid him of the boxers he still wore, but the young man shook his head.

“I want to leave them on for now,” Myers explained, taking a step towards the bed.

Hellboy shrugged. If the normally fastidious human didn’t mind getting fudge on his shorts, it was okay by him. Besides, at the moment, HB was incapable of denying John Myers anything he wanted.

“The suit’s off,” HB purred as he reached for the jar of fudge. “Me and you got us a date with some sticky, sweet stuff.”

John took a deep breath and crawled onto the bed. When he reached the center of the mattress, he lay down and flipped over onto his back.

“Come over here and fudge me, Big Guy,” Myers said, arms spread out as he offered himself to his lover.

HB bit back a pained moan. John was trying, but still had some work to do regarding developing a sense of humor. Even so, the sight of the young man’s erection straining the fabric of his boxers, the damp spot getting visibly bigger, did a great deal to make up for the bad pun.

“Your wish is my command,” Hellboy said. Then, before Myers could get an inflated ego, he added, “Squirt.”

Hellboy made short work of opening the jar and, using his tail, soon had it poised over Myers’ torso. John was panting lightly in anticipation. With a deliberate motion, HB tilted the jar enough to send a thin stream of liquid fudge raining down on Myers. It hit John’s skin with a wet splat and the young man twitched in response.

HB didn’t have the patience to wait for much fudge to cover John. He put the jar aside hastily, then swooped down on the bed and, with a loud smack, kissed Myers’ chocolate-covered stomach.

“Hey, that tickles,” John protested, squirming.

Hellboy sat up, leering at the human with fudge-stained lips. “Mmmm… chocolate-covered Myers, my brand new favorite flavor.”

“I don’t think Baskin Robbins has anything to worry about,” John laughed. “It’s probably an acquired taste.

HB didn’t say anything, but as far as he was concerned, chocolate-covered Myers was an extremely limited edition flavor. A taste meant to be savored by only one person, namely, one very lucky demon.

“Hmmm…” HB muttered. He dipped his fingers in the fudge sauce that had pooled on John’s chest. “Wonder what’ll happen if I do this?”

‘This’ was to spread the sauce out, circling Myers nipples and coating each hardened little nub with the sticky substance. Myers giggled a little and HB looked up at him for an explanation.

“It’s a little cold,” John admitted, blushing.

HB smiled slowly. “Well, let’s see if we can warm it up some.”

Bending his head down, the demon gently sucked the nearest nipple. John’s response was immediate. He snatched at HB’s head while his hips lifted off the bed.

Hellboy gently but firmly grabbed Myers’ wrists and held the human’s arms down by his side. Once he had the human under control, he licked and suckled to his heart’s desire, varying his attention from one nipple to the other. John’s fingers flexed as Hellboy held him down, but his soft litany of “please, please, please” indicated that he was enjoying every minute of it.

HB followed the trail of chocolate from Myers’ chest down to his stomach. A little had dripped into the young man’s bellybutton. Hellboy conscientiously used his tongue to clean it out, the sensation causing John to giggle and squirm again in the most tempting manner.

Eventually, most of the fudge on Myers’ body was gone. Hellboy let go of John’s wrists in order to sit back and admire his work. Eyes dancing in appreciation, he reached for the jar with one hand, the other headed towards Myers’ boxers.

“No, don’t,” John said in a pleading tone.

The demon looked at his lover in surprised concern. The last thing he’d expected was an objection. “You okay, John?”

Myers, blushing, was quick to reassure him. “I’m loving every minute of this, Red, but if you go there… I won’t be able to hold out for long.”

HB grinned. “And that’s a bad thing, because…?”

“Because,” John bit his lip, before rushing to finish. “Because I want you in me this time when we make love.”

Hellboy closed his eyes at the rush of adrenaline those words inspired. “Aw, hell, John. You know I want that too, but you’re not the only one on the edge, here.” He opened his eyes, hoping the human could read the depth of his feeling. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

John smiled almost shyly and made his way to the edge of the bed. He stood and quickly stripped his boxers off, almost absently stepping out of them. Hellboy watched, opening his arms automatically when Myers nestled close.

“You would never hurt me, Red.” The human took HB’s tail and guided it behind him. “Besides, I already took care of the preparation part.”

HB’s tail brushed against the cleft between John’s cheeks and he could feel his eyebrows shoot up in surprise at what he found there. Myers was wearing a plug. His lover had been walking around the BPRD and on a mission, albeit a pseudo-mission, while wearing a butt plug.

Laughing, he pulled the human’s lithe form to him. “You really are a boy scout, aren’t you? That’s taking being prepared to a new level.”

John rubbed himself against Hellboy’s bulk. “I don’t think they give a badge for that, Big Guy.”

“Awww, that’s too bad,” HB purred. “But I can think of another way to reward you.”

Hellboy kissed John thoroughly, roughly grasping the young man’s erect cock and pumping it a couple of times while sucking on Myers’ tongue. He let the human go and, taking a good look at John’s glazed eyes, grunted in satisfaction. HB turned John and encouraged him to bend over and brace himself against the bed.

Once he had his lover placed to his satisfaction, HB grabbed the fudge jar and dipped his fingers into the liquid. He made short work of using the sticky substance to trace the line of John’s spine, smiling when the human gasped at the cool touch and arched into it. HB quickly followed by licking it off, ending up at the firm, soft flesh of Myers’ cheeks.

There, he lingered, torn between wanting to savor the moment and his body’s need to reach some sort of completion. He settled for kneading John’s ass with his hands, watching avidly at how the motion caused the butt plug to shift a little, movement that nearly sent Myers over the edge.

“Oh, God, Red, please,” John panted. “I want it to be you in there when I come.”

HB leaned over and nipped at Myers’ shoulder. “Your wish is my command.”

Hellboy fisted his own cock and pumped several times as he watched while Myers tried to stay still. The human was clearly ready to explode and was having a hard time standing still. Finally, HB put one hand on John’s back to steady him and used the other hand to draw out the plug.

His plan had been to check John first, to make sure the plug had done its job. It was obvious from the size of the thing, however, and how well lubricated it was, that it had. Hellboy threw it aside and positioned the head of his cock at Myers’ stretched opening. In one slow, steady motion, he thrust inside the tiny opening, finally burying himself deep into the body that had been tempting him all day.

It was hard to tell who cried out the loudest at the penetration, John or Hellboy. As soon as he felt his balls nestle against the bottom of Myers’ ass, HB leaned over John, grasping the human’s hands as they were fisted in the sheets. He was completely draped over Myers’ back, but with the difference in the sizes, wasn’t putting his weight on John’s more frail body.

Hellboy was a demon and bragged about being fireproof. He wasn’t proof against the fire he was buried in now, though. The heat of John’s passage seared him even as it engulfed him, a velvet heat that made it hard to hold onto his control.

Moving carefully, HB pulled back a little, then surged in again. It was a rocking motion, but one that sent his body tingling. While their bodies pressed together, HB’s tail reached underneath and tickled the human’s testicles. John made a strangled noise and thrust back, encouraging his lover to repeat the penetrating motion. HB gladly obliged and was soon making longer and more powerful thrusts.

With John being quite a big shorter and smaller than Hellboy, having sex bent over the side of the bed wasn’t the most comfortable position. It only took a few minutes for HB to realize that and, soon, he was carefully wrapping his arms around the human’s waist. He pulled Myers fully into his arms, holding the young man upright as he was impaled on his cock. John’s feet didn’t even reach the floor, but Hellboy was easily able to support his weight, continuing to thrust slow and strong.

John wrapped his hands around the arms that held him and moaned. “God, Red, so good….” His head flopped back to rest on the demon’s shoulder. There wasn’t much he could do in this position except be in HB arms and let himself get fucked.

HB licked the side of Myers’ neck and thrust in so hard that his balls slapped John’s ass. “You ain’t seen nothing yet.”

Hellboy continued to pump his cock in and out of Myers’ body, loving how the tight passage sucked on his large erection as he slid in and out. He wasn’t oblivious to John’s needs, however. He felt the human straining against him, working to bring his body to release. There wasn’t much friction for John, not dangling as he was in HB’s arms. Hellboy adjusted his grip on the young man, using his stone arm to continue to hold John steady for his thrusts, but dropping his flesh one to Myer’s groin. He easily found his lover’s erection and wrapped his hand around it, fisting it in time to his hips’ movement.

“Yes, oh God,” Myers cried out. His body went as taut as a bow and Hellboy felt the young man’s body clench around him as the erection in his hand erupted. John’s release splattered over HB’s hand and onto the bed, its white color showing up vividly against the demon’s red skin.

HB pumped John until no more fluid came out. With the young man’s body still rippling around him in aftershocks, the demon awkwardly moved the few steps to the bed. Once there, he lay their joined bodies down on the bed and continued their coupling, the new position giving him a better angle for his own pleasure. John recovered somewhat and, even though he wasn’t ready for another orgasm himself, started moving with the demon.

“Come on, Red,” the young man encouraged. “Prove that I’m yours, come in me.”

As from a great distance, Hellboy felt climax surge through him. He thrust his head back and howled even as his hips thrust forward and buried his cock as deep inside John as it would go. Wave after wave of pleasure engulfed him and HB felt himself spurting his completion inside John as his world started going dark.

Hellboy’s orgasm was so intense, that the next he knew, he was laying on the bed, John snuggled in his arms. He murmured in surprise, the soft noise causing Myers to look up at him.

“Hey, you’re back,” the human smiled a greeting. “You okay?”

HB thought about it a minute. He felt heavy with languidness that came with satiation, he could taste chocolate in the back of his throat, and John was in his arms, smiling happily. Yeah, everything was perfect in his world.

“Never better,” the demon said truthfully. “How about you?”

“I’m not the one who passed out,” Myers pointed out smugly. He chuckled as Hellboy growled and pulled him close. “I’m fine, really. That was… mind-blowing.”

HB grunted his agreement and settled back, pillowing John on his chest and tucking the young man’s head under his chin. “You can say that again. Next time I call you ‘Boy Scout,’” he said, full of admiration for Myers’ preparations, “I’ll mean it in a whole new way.”

John yawned and nestled close, pulling back when he felt an unexpected wetness. “What’s this?” He asked, swiping his finger through a dollop of fudge left over from their earlier activities. Sticking his finger in his mouth, he sucked it off before laying his head back down.

“Red?” Myers said sleepily. “You’re fire resistant, right?”

”Yup,” Hellboy confirmed. He cupped the young man’s ass possessively as he settled more comfortably in the bed.

“Good,” John said, voice fuzzy with approaching sleep.

Somehow, HB had the feeling that Myers didn’t say that just because it came in handy for their BPRD work. “Why’s that?”

Myers smiled, eyes closed as he succumbed to post-coital exhaustion. “Nex’ time, gonna try hot chocolate…”

His lover’s voice trailed off into sleep, but John’s words had left Hellboy wide awake. He used his tail, the instigator of so much naughtiness, to tug the covers up over John, keeping the human warm.

Hellboy had lived among humans for sixty years and, just when he thought he had the nuances of human behavior down pat, Myers would surprise him. He never would have figured that John would play such a devious and sexy trick on him.

“Not that I’m complainin’ or anything, Squirt,” HB murmured, even though the human was too far gone into sleep to hear him. “Gonna take me at least another sixty years to figure you out.”

Cheered by the prospect, Hellboy shuffled his body carefully to avoid dislodging his lover. Settled comfortably under the covers, he joined Myers in sleep… and dreamt of fudge.

~the end~


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