April Fools: Deaq’s Revenge

By Juli

April 2003

This is a sequel of sorts to "April Fools," a story by Kaija West posted to the Fastlane slash list.  In it, Van pulls a prank on Deaq for April Fools.  He sneaks into Deaq's bed and Deaq reacts to waking next to a warm body without realizing at first that it's Van.  

“C’mon, Deaq, don’t be mad, it’s April Fool’s Day,” Van cajoled his partner as the two men walked into the Candy Store.

The irrepressible young man had snuck into Deaq’s apartment as the detective slept and crept into bed with him. Deaq had awakened to a warm presence snuggled up next to his body and had reacted accordingly. Van had thought it great fun to see the older man’s contented expression change as he realized it was a man in his arms instead of the expected female. Deaq, on the other hand, hadn’t found the prank to be nearly so humorous.

“April Fools is for putting salt in the sugar container or maybe Saran wrap over the toilet,” Deaq grumbled as he followed Van through the door. “Not for invading a man’s bed.”

Van turned and smirked at him. “Don’t be such a wimp. Besides,” he continued blithely as he took a pointed look at his watch, “You’ve got a whole thirteen minutes to get back at me.” With a swagger, Van sauntered over to where Billie was waiting for them.

“Oh, I don’t get mad, dawg,” Deaq muttered under his breath as he trailed behind, “I get even.”

On the outside, Deaq was his usual cool and hip self as he plopped himself down in the sitting area and dutifully listened as Billie began outlining their latest gig. On the inside, however, he was seething. He had thirteen – no, make that eleven – minutes to get back at Van and he hadn’t a clue how. He’d kept an eye out as he’d gotten ready for the day and accompanied Van to work, but nothing had inspired him. Part of the problem with revenge was that Deaq had lost the element of surprise, leaving him at a distinct disadvantage. What made it worse was that Van knew it too, judging from the way those maddening green eyes were mischievously twinkling at him.

At that moment, a ray of sunshine came through the window and illuminated a bowl of fruit sitting on the edge of the coffee table. Billie had recently taken to nagging the men about how much fast food they ate and had begun to make a point of having healthy snacks around. Deaq and Van had been snickering about it for days, but now the sun had just revealed the perfect tool for Deaq’s revenge and he wasn’t laughing about the fruit anymore.

Feigning a casual attitude he didn’t feel, Deaq grabbed the large, ripe banana that was perched majestically at the top of the fruit bowl. Eyes fixated on Van, Deaq made a point of tossing the long, yellow fruit back and forth between his hands. The movement caught the younger man’s gaze and Van looked at Deaq quizzically. Once he had Van’s attention, Deaq got started.

Deaq gripped the banana in one hand and used the fingers of the other to delicately trace up and down the length of it before lingering on the end of the fruit. Licking his lips in slow motion, he kept his eyes on Van, he swirled his fingers around the hard tip of the banana in an action that mirrored that of his tongue.

Van’s eyes widened and he blanched. With question marks in his eyes, he gave Deaq a look as if asking him if he was really doing what Van thought he was doing. After darting a quick glance at Billie and making sure she was still involved in filling in the background on their latest case, Deaq gave Van a slight nod and a predatory grin.

Payback was a bitch.

Dividing his attention between Billie, Van, and the banana, Deaq slowly divested the fruit of its peel. He was tempted to twirl each piece of peel before flinging it over his shoulder but figured such a blatant banana strip tease would get Billie’s attention and that was something he didn’t want.

Once his banana was naked, Deaq fisted it and started a pumping action. Van jumped in his seat and that, along with the movement she caught just out of the corner of her eye, made Billie turn to Deaq.

“Is there a problem, gentlemen?” Her glare shifted from one man to the other.

“No,” Van’s voice broke as he responded and he took a moment to swallow. “No problem, ma’am.”

Deaq flourished his banana at her. “No problem, just havin’ me a late breakfast.”

Mollified, Billie turned back to her presentation. Once her attention was again diverted, Deaq made a show of bringing the banana to his lips and nuzzling it. With his eyes locked on Van’s, Deaq trailed his mouth down the side of its firm length, stifling a laugh when he saw his partner shift in his seat. By the time Deaq’s lips had mapped the fruit’s entire length, Van was actively squirming, causing Billie to make a comment about someone having had too much coffee.

Deaq just snickered to himself when Van had shot him a glare behind Billie’s back. So far, the boy’d gotten off easy and it was time to up the ante. He’d teach Van a thing or two about getting a body all hot and bothered when there was no opportunity for release…

Making sure that his partner was once again concentrating on him, Deaq put the end of the banana in his mouth and rotated it slowly. He took it out and licked his lips before sliding it back in, this time taking more of the length inside. Van bit his lip and abruptly reached for a handy cushion, shifting so that he was sprawled on the couch rather than sitting on it, the pillow conveniently placed over his lap. Deaq grinned over the fruit in his mouth and the next time when he removed it, there was an almost audible ‘pop’ as it came free.

Billie turned to look at him. “I thought you were hungry?” She asked, gesturing at the banana.

“Gotta let it breathe first,” Deaq solemnly explained. “Can’t eat ‘em right after you peel ‘em, they’re too soft.”

“Oookay,” Billie said, not entirely convinced. “Now, where were we….”

Deaq knew he was on borrowed time and sped up his performance. He slid the banana in and out of his mouth several more times, stopping whenever Billie seemed to be about to look his way. Van seemed to be torn between arousal at Deaq’s oral technique and laughter at the obviously false expression of innocence the detective assumed whenever their boss glanced his way.

Feeling his own pants getting tight, Deaq decided that Van had had enough. Looking at his partner with a feral expression, he slid the banana in his mouth one last time and made a show of nibbling around the very tip. Then, after taking time to enjoy the blush painting Van’s cheeks, he bit down decisively and started to chew. A bit of banana mush trickled out the side of his mouth. Deaq let it dribble for a moment, noticing how Van’s eyes seemed mesmerized by the sight, then made a show of wiping it off and popping his finger into his mouth. Van sighed and leaned back into the couch, flushed and breathing a little harder than normal.

“All right, gentlemen, that’s all,” Billie’s brisk voice interrupted Deaq’s moment of victory. “Better get busy.”

Van all but leapt from the couch, not dropping the pillow until he had his back to their boss. Deaq followed a little more sedately, pleased to notice that the swagger was definitely gone from Van’s gait. In fact, the younger man was all but running to the door.

“Oh, and boys,” Billie’s voice stopped both of them. “The next time Deaq decides to give a perfectly innocent banana a blow job, try not to do it in public, okay? I don’t know if there are any laws against having sex with a piece of fruit, but let’s try not to draw too much attention to ourselves. Kind of goes against being undercover in the first place.”

Billie stifled her laughter until both of her men had escaped. It wasn’t often she got the drop on Van and Deaq, but the expression on Deaq’s face when he realized he’d been busted…. it was even better than the Saran wrap she’d brought to put on the toilet.

~the end~


Return to Fastlane Index

Return to Fandom Index

Comments or questions taken at: journeyoftheheartfiction@yahoo.com