Channel Surfing
By Juli
October 2002

"Now, this is what I call *living*," Steve Sloan said, sighing in contentment.  He and his lover
had the house to themselves for the weekend and were ensconced on a big, fluffy couch.  Jesse
wasn't on call and, for once, neither was Steve.  There was nothing more strenuous ahead of
them than enjoying a quiet evening at home, cuddled together, and watching television.
"Jesse," Steve complained.  "Don't you think you'd have a better chance of finding a show to
watch if you kept it on one station for more than five seconds?"
"Where's the fun in that?" The younger man countered.  The smaller blond was snuggled under
Steve's arm and was happily flipping away with the remote.  Looking up at his disgruntled lover,
the doctor grinned his most charming smile.  "The hunt's the fun part."
"Jesse," Steve growled.  "That might be fun to you, but it's annoying if you're not the one in
charge of the remote."
"Just a minute," Jesse waved off the detective's attempt to take the remote control from him. 
"Let me make a complete round and then we'll decide on something."
"You know, I gotta admit, I find it somewhat disconcerting that a doctor has such a short span of
attention," Steve said, trying to appeal to his mate's pride. Watching the TV screen change again,
and again, and again was starting to make him vaguely queasy. 
Jesse snorted.  "If you come into my Emergency Room bleeding, frothing at the mouth, or not
breathing, trust me, you'll have my full attention.  Right now, though, I just want to relax."
Steve's admittedly limited patience was at its end.  "That's it, give me that thing," he snapped. 
Taking the device from his lover, he waved it reprovingly in Jesse's face. "This is the channel it's
on and this is the channel it stays on."  
"All right already, be that way," Jesse pouted, crossing his arms across his chest.
Both men had lost track of what channel Jesse had gotten up to but a commercial was currently
airing and they couldn't see what station it was.  To their chagrin, when the main programming
came back, it turned out to be a shopping channel... one that was featuring cosmetics.
Steve groaned and, shaking his head, wordlessly handed the remote back to his lover. At first,
Jesse was tempted to crow in triumph, but seeing his lover sitting with his head bowed made him
realize that he really had irritated the older man.  Steve was cute as hell when he was annoyed but
this was supposed to be a relaxing evening.
"Hey, how about we play a game of channel surfing?" Jesse offered as a compromise.
"A game - of channel surfing?  What's that?"  Steve looked at the younger man distrustfully,
rightly figuring out that Jesse was making the whole thing up.
"It goes like this," young doctor Travis started, quickly warming to his subject.  "You channel
surf, going up the channels in numerical order and staying on no channel longer than three
seconds.  If, in that three seconds, you see someone cooking something on-screen, then you get to
ask your partner for a kiss. Then it's his turn."
"A kiss, huh?"  A smile was starting to twitch the corners of Steve's mouth.
"Yeah," Jesse grinned back, realizing that he already had his mate well and truly hooked.  "It can
be a cooking show, a scene from a sitcom, a commercial, or even an infomercial.  As long as it
has cooking."
"That's it, just a 'kiss the cook' sort of thing?" The detective was looking forward to hearing
what else the fertile mind of his lover could think up.
"Nah, there's more rules than that.  If you see something that shows a guy with his shirt off, then
you get to ask your partner to remove an article of clothing."
"I like the sound of that...." Steve said, sitting up straighter on the couch.
Jesse held up one finger in a warning.  "But, you've got to be careful, there are penalties too.  If
you see a *woman* with her shirt off - even if she's still in her bra - then you have to put a piece
of clothing back *on.*"
"Damn."  Steve looked thoughtful.  "Can I add a rule?"
Jesse was feeling magnanimous, "Sure."
"Okay," Steve said with a leer.  "If you see a beverage commercial - for any beverage - then you
get to suck on one of your partner's body parts.  Any body part that you choose."
Jesse grinned.  Steve was good at this!  "Okay, but there are stoppers too.  If you come across
Richard Simmons, Bob Barker, Joan Rivers, Kathy Lee Gifford, or any show from the
1970s/early 1980s, you lose your turn."
Steve lifted one eyebrow.  "Those particular celebrities, I can understand but any show from the
1970s or early 80s?  What's that all about?"
Jesse blushed.  "Those are the shows from when I was little. I was a latch-key kid, I watched a lot
of stuff.  There's no worse mood killer than making out on the couch and having a show you
used to watch after school come on."
"That sounds like the voice of experience," Steve teased but then made a slight change in the
rule.  "All right, but I want one exception - 'Dukes of Hazzard.'  I loved that show."
Jesse's blue eyes glazed over.  "Ooooh... the Dukes.  I remember daydreaming about climbing
into the back of the General Lee with Bo and Luke.  Yeah, we'll make an exception for them."
Steve took a look at his lover's expression and immediately made a mental note to start
cultivating a southern accent... and to find a friend he could borrow a Confederate-flag decorated
car from.  
Rules set, the two men were ready to play.  Ever the gentleman, Jesse let Steve have the remote
***"Don't go away, because when we come back, we're gonna kick it up ANOTHER
Steve grinned in satisfaction and licked his lips.  Looking at his lover, he couldn't help but taunt
a little.  "Gotta love that Emeril. Pucker up, babe."
"The Food Network, Steve?" Jesse sputtered.  "That's cheating!"
"It is not," the older man said defensively.  "It's a perfectly legitimate channel... and Emeril's on
five nights a week."
"You watch the Food Network?" Jesse said in disbelief.  "Steve, your idea of gourmet is to buy
the brats with cheese in them."
"Hey, not everyone who goes to a museum to appreciate fine art can paint, you know."  Steve
shot back.  "I eat, so I can enjoy a cooking show if I want.  Now are you gonna pucker up or
Jesse rolled his eyes and puckered up.  Truly, 'losing' at this game was no hardship. Steve
wrapped one large hand around the back of Jesse's neck, pulling the doctor in close and
exploring his mouth thoroughly.  They both were breathless by the time they parted.
"My turn," Jesse said, panting but happy.
"Ho, ho, ho... there's a male bare chest.  Steve, take it off, baby!"
It was the older man's turn to protest.  "Jess, I'm not sure if Fat Bastard could be considered a
man... and that's not his real skin either."
"Details, details," Jesse waved off the detective's objections.  "Now, quit your quibbling and take
your shirt off."
Steve obeyed but, much to Jesse's dismay, the other blond had a t-shirt on underneath. Smiling at
his lover's sigh of disappointment, Steve held out his hand for the remote.
*** "Join me and my lovely daughter, Melissa, as we round up some pseudo-fashion experts and
take turns bashing the clothing of celebrities who make more money in a week than, combined, 
we'll all make in a decade."***
Damn.  It was Joan Rivers.  Silently, Steve handed the remote back to Jesse.
*** "Beef - it's what's for dinner." The television screen showed a bland housewife placing a
plate of steak in front of her happy family.***
"WhooHoo, it's my turn!"  Jesse dropped the remote on the floor and turned to his lover,
launching himself at the older man.  
Steve opened his mouth to "oomph" in surprise as a squirming Jesse landed in his lap but found
his lips covered by his companion's.  When they parted, Jesse stayed straddled on top of the
detective, eyes twinkling in mischief.
"Steve Sloan," the younger man said with a perfectly deadpan face.  "The other white meat."
Steve couldn't help it, he started laughing.  His fingers, though, had a mind of their own and
were bent on revenge.  Moving unerringly to the best spots along his lover's side, he immediately
began tickling.
"Foul!  Foul!  There's no tickling in channel surfing!"  Jesse cried out, amidst gales of helpless
laughter and fruitless attempts to get free.
"Maybe not the way you play...." Steve said, but finally left off.  This game was a lot more fun
than he'd anticipated and he wanted to play some more.  He let go of his lover, letting Jesse slide
limply to the cushion beside him, and then picked up the remote.
*** "Correct me if I'm wrong," An intense young man was saying, "but aren't you just kind of
an 'observer' on this mission?  I don't remember anyone telling me you were a member of
The two men watched the television in wide-eyed amazement.  A buff blond man with a heavy
southern accent was shirtless and was dressed only in what looked like painted-on biker shorts. 
An attractive woman with pointed ears was slathering goo on the man's bare skin and, judging
from the bulge in the man's shorts, he was obviously enjoying it.
"Wow," Steve breathed.  "That doesn't look the Star Trek I remember when I was a kid."
"Hallelujah," Jesse agreed, gulping.  They watched the rest of the scene before coming back to
reality. "He was shirtless, but so was she. They count each other out."
Steve disagreed.  "What about the goo, babe.  Not every day you get to see that on television,
even if it *was* a woman who was greasing him down."
Jesse considered but then, remembering watching that sculpted chest glisten, he had to concede
the point.  His shoes were already off, so it was easy enough to toe off his socks.  Grinning at
Steve's eye roll of disappointment, the doctor snatched the remote back.
Half an hour and several trips around the dial later, the game was nearing completion - and so
were its players.  Jesse was down to his jeans and underwear, while all Steve had on was his
undershirt.  Not that the detective was complaining, Steve Jr. was, literally, standing straight up
with excitement.  Both men's lips were swollen from kissing and they were eyeing each other in
a lust-filled daze.
*** "Bad boys, bad boys, watcha gonna do..."***
It was "Cops," the reality television show where the perpetrators *always* seemed to be
committing crimes without their shirts. It was bare chest Nirvana and Steve yipped in excitement.
"Finally," the detective grinned.  "The jeans are *gone,* Jess."
"Thank God," the younger man groaned.  Wearing the ever-tightening denim had been anything
but comfortable over the last several minutes. The doctor was moving to unbutton his pants,
when another set of fingers stopped him.
"Allow me," Steve said, standing next to his mate.  Jesse shivered as he felt his lover unzip him
before trailing his hands to his back.  Steve dipped his fingers inside to quickly cup the mound of
Jesse's ass before sliding the offending jeans off the smaller man's hips.  With a sigh of relief
Jesse stepped out of them.  He smiled in gratitude at his lover, allowing his hand to caress
Steve's as they passed the remote.
*** "Love, exciting and new... Come aboard, we're expecting you... Love, life's sweetest
reward... Let it flow, it flows back to you... The Love Boat soon will be making another run... the
Love Boat promises something for everyone...."***
"Oh, man," Jesse whined as Steve took the remote from him.  So far, they'd managed to miss any
blasts from the past, mainly due to some creative surfing but their luck had just run out.  "That
just isn't fair."
"I dunno," Steve said, trying not to laugh as his lover flung himself back in frustration.  "Gopher,
in those shorts, was kind of sexy."
Jesse glared at him.  "That's not funny, Steve."
"Sorry, babe," Steve said, although he didn't look at all apologetic.
*** "That's not a Diet Pepsi, baby, it's a Diet Pepsi Twist... and that's not Britney Spears, baby,
it's a man...."***
For once, the sight of Austin Powers beating the crap out of Britney Spears didn't make Steve
and Jesse smile.  Instead, the detective leered at his mate, leaning over to pin the younger man to
the couch.
"If I remember right," Steve purred, "a beverage commercial gives me the opportunity to suck on
Jesse swallowed noisily at the lust in his lover's eyes.  "Y-yeah, something like that."
Steve leaned closer, almost touching his face to Jesse's.  Instead of reaching in for a kiss,
however, he moved his head down lower, almost touching the skin as he blazed a trail down
Jesse's chest and stomach.  The younger man groaned as Steve lingered over his crotch area but
his lover was just teasing.  After bobbing tantalizingly over Jesse's groin, Steve swooped down
to his companion's feet. Capturing one foot in his hands, he popped Jesse's toe into his mouth,
slurping loudly as he sucked on it.
"Steve!"  Jesse's hips came off the couch as he reacted almost violently to the sensation.  Steve
growled in satisfaction at the response.  Grabbing his lover by the hips, he held the writhing man
in place.  
By the time Steve was finished, Jesse had been reduced to whimpers.  
"Wow," the doctor gasped as Steve gently lowered his foot.  "Who would have thought your toe
was wired directly to your cock."
Steve just smiled and handed Jesse the remote.
*** The screen showed a woman dressed in black lingerie, prowling her way across a moonlit
"Damn that Victoria Secret," Jesse moaned.
"It sucks to be you," Steve agreed before handing Jesse his jeans.
Jesse sighed and pulled the pants back on, but balked at zipping them up.  "Steve, there's no way,
my cock's too hard."
Steve took pity on him, for once not making his lover follow the rules.  "Okay, babe."  Besides,
the detective liked seeing Jesse all wanton with his zipper undone, hard and leaking cock peaking
out from the denim fly....
Gulping, the bigger man picked the remote up and resolutely vowed to end the game.
*** The screen showed a crowded nightclub, full of undulating men.  The set-up looked familiar
but it wasn't until the opening credits rolled by that Steve and Jesse could place the television
show it came from.***
The two men looked at each other, before simultaneously blurting out, "'Queer As Folk!'"
Without realizing it, their surfing handed landed them into the premium channels. Knowing that
their favorite show would soon generate scenes that they hadn't taken into account when they set
up their rules, the couple grinned at each other as they realized their game had been rendered
Steve reached over and pulled Jesse into his lap, kissing his lover firmly as he groped the smaller
man's ass.  "Enough playing around, Jess," he ground out past his desire.  
Jesse started to get up.  "Bedroom?"
Steve yanked his mate back.  "Not enough time, I need you *now.*" Working quickly, he
stripped the jeans and boxers off his partner, then fell onto the couch, pulling an unresisting Jesse
with him.
"Oh, Gawd," Jesse whimpered as Steve swallowed his cock down whole.  A hot length pressed
itself against the doctor's cheek, making Jesse aware that his talented partner had maneuvered
them into a classic 69 position.  Opening his lips eagerly, he took his lover orally.  Jesse had
never managed to take Steve's entire length in his mouth; there was just too much of Steve for
him to handle.  Instead, he firmly fisted the lower length of the older man's penis, twisting his
hand sensuously as he enthusiastically sucked on the engorged head.
The two men were so worked up, it didn't take long.  In a few moments, a lot of swallowing was
going on in the living room, accompanied by muffled moans of pleasure.  
When he got the energy up, Steve tugged Jesse back up so that they were cuddled head to head.
"I take back what I said earlier, babe.  You *definitely* know how to focus.  Remind me not to
complain about your channel surfing anymore."
"I dunno about that," Jesse replied sleepily, "Look where your complaining got us."
"Good point," Steve admitted.  "You want to move into the bedroom?"
"Is there a television in there?"
Steve chuckled.  "A little one."
"Okay, if you insist."
As much as he hated to admit it, Steve wasn't as youthful as he used to be and a bed sounded a
lot more comfortable than a night on the couch.  Getting up, he pulled a reluctant Jesse to his
feet.  "Would it help if I whistled 'Dixie' in your ear," the older man offered, referring to the
trademark horn of the Duke's of Hazzard's General Lee.
"Va-va-va-voom!"  Jesse responded, who'd morphed from sleepy reluctance to bright-eyed and
bushy-tailed at the suggestion.
Steve chuckled and let himself be tugged along.  The evening had proved that in his life with
Jesse, even being a couch potato was a fun and exciting existence. 
~the end~
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