Christmas Countdown: December 5
Die Hard 4


By Juli

December 2008


Matt didn't turn around as he heard the apartment door open and close. John's shift had been up two hours ago, but Matt had learned early on not to expect the cop home close to quitting time. It was rare that John was actually finished when he was supposed to. Matt was cool with that. He got lost often enough in his computer work; he understood loving what you do. He never thought he'd by sympathetic with a cop, but after helping John with the Fire Sale, he understood the lure.

"Take a load off, dinner's not done yet," Matt called out over his shoulder. "I got this new recipe, it's supposed to make the tofu taste like meat. I figure this close to Christmas, you deserve a treat."

Even Matt wasn't crazy enough to serve John McClane coagulated soy bean curds, but he did like to pull the older man's chain. He actually had two stir fry pans going; a vegetarian one for him and one with cow in it for John. Doing a couple of extra dishes was worth keeping both of them happy.

It took a minute for Matt to realize that John hadn't answered him. Vaguely worried, he turned around to see what the problem was. Once he had, he did a double-take.

"What the hell happened to you?" Matt demanded. He turned his back on his cooking and approached McClane carefully.

McClane was leaning against the kitchen doorframe. He was a little banged up, but for McClane, that wasn't too unusual. What was unusual was the fact that he was wearing a Santa suit, or, at least the remnants of one, anyway. There was a large red fleece coat with big buttons, its black belt hanging askew, although John was wearing his own pants. The coat was soiled and torn, which meant it matched McClane's face. It looked like John had been in a fight, although why he'd been dressed as Santa, Matt hadn't a clue.

As Matt stared, John limped into the kitchen and over to the refrigerator. He grabbed a bag of peas out of the freezer and held them up to his face. "Ho, ho, ho."

"What's the matter, someone jack your sleigh or something?" Matt asked in disbelief. "You cannot seriously tell me that you were playing Santa."

McClane's lips pursed. "Some ass wipe was using his gig as Santa as a way to pick pocket. I was undercover."

"You?" Matt sputtered. "As Santa?"

"Hey, I'm good with kids," John defended himself.

"Oh, I think some child psychologists are going to have a very Merry Christmas, undoing the damage you did," Matt stated. "Of course, the whole Christmas thing has been escalated by the retail industry. Children are brainwashed at a very early age to ask for the moon and struggling parents try to meet impossible expectations. "

McClane smirked. "Let me guess, you didn't get some geek gadget you wanted one year." He threw the frozen pea bag back into the freezer. "Come on, sit on Santa's lap and tell him what you want for Christmas."

"Are you nuts?" Matt asked, but he also licked his lips. There was something so wrong about what McClane had just suggested, but the thought of it was hot too.

Taking a step forward, McClane reached for the younger man. "I'm going to have to check if you're on my naughty or nice list." He took another step forward. "I'm betting on naughty."

Matt yelped and stepped away. He had just a moment to turn the stove off and then the chase was on. McClane eventually caught him, but that was okay. Matt had absolutely no problem with being on the naughty list.

~the end~

 

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